Bullying – The After Effects
If you search through social media and magazines etc. and read stories on bullying, you tend to get the view of the initial situation and how it made that victim feel. What happened and how it affected that victim of extremely valid, however there never seems to be much follow up on how that bullying actually affected that victim throughout the course of their day to day life.
When bullied in school, you are at an impressionable age. You already have the pressures of ‘fitting in’, ‘being cool’, keeping up with your school work, developing your own mind and confidence, pretty much at the very beginning of building a World for you yourself. So to have another person or persons try and knock you down for whatever reason through no request by you, can actually be soul destroying and life threatening.
What Is Bullying?
Bullying is simply put; the use of force, coercion to abuse, threat, intimidate or aggressively dominate another person(s) and this behaviour is often habitual and repeated.
When rationalising this type of behaviour you can include; social class, race, religion, gender, sexual orientation, appearance, behaviour, body language, personality, reputation, strength, size, or ability, and if bullying is conducted by a group, it is referred to as mobbing.
Bullying can develop in any context in which people interact with each other. This includes school, family, the workplace, home, and neighbourhoods. Its always nice to try and see the best side of someone, but when that someone starts to bully you, your whole World can change at any age or in any situation.
What Can Bullying Really Do?
The effects of bullying can literally be devastating, as they more often than not continue long into adulthood and send countless children spiralling into depression or self-harm. Some will even attempt or commit suicide.
When left to continue without intervention, bullying doesn’t just affect the initial victim and the children who are bullying, it also affects everyone who is exposed to the environment in which it occurs – most commonly at school.
Being bullied as a child can lead to dropping out of or being expelled from school. Engaging in criminal behaviour, developing anxiety or depression and eventually being abusive towards friends, family and partners in their future.
As an adult, being bullied has the same strength and affect on the victim. Feelings of intimidation, depression, low self-esteem and social withdrawal can ensue, as can self harm and suicide.
The Aftereffects Of Being Bullied
Some people live for years with the after effects of bullying, some replaying the worst times over and over, and others even believing that they either deserved t or that it was their own fault. And all the while, the bullies themselves have moved onto someone else to bully, following the same track throughout their lives and bullying those around them – whatever their reasons.
Its not very often that you will meet up with the person who made your life hell previously and they apologise to you telling you that they have grown from the experience and that they truly are sorry, so please don’t ever wait for that day. More often that not the bully is not even aware that they are a bully. Its simply second nature to them to push people around either physically, verbally or mentally and not think twice about it, and sadly that is all too true.
Most harm that is caused by bullying is preventable!
I Have Been Bullied… What Can I Do?
Coming to terms with having been bullied is a big step to take. There are a lot of emotions, painful memories and sometimes bitterness wrapped in there – however I can help you untangle those memories and feelings, help you to regain your self worth and start to believe in your self again. Call for a no obligation ‘chat’ and realise that the dark cloud that is bullying can be lifted.
Clare Kiernan is the sole owner of Essex Therapy and can be contacted on 01268 527757 or 07840 416633 or if you feel more comfortable sending an email, please do so to: firstname.lastname@example.org.