Anger is a very healthy, normal and vital emotion felt by millions each and every day. It can be a necessity for the survival of individuals and communities. However, it will become a problem if you find it difficult to keep it under control.

When anger strikes, it can take you over within seconds. Anger is an all consuming, intense emotional response and sometimes cannot be controlled in the worst case scenario. Anger is an emotion that brings a strong uncomfortable and hostile response to a perceived provocation, hurt or threat, and it can also occur when maybe your personal boundaries are being or are in danger of being violated. Of course there are many reasons why you would feel anger, these are just a few examples.

Why Am I So Angry?

Some people can have a learned tendency to react to anger through retaliation as a way of coping. Even through it is learned behaviour, it can become completely debilitating and can ruin your life; alert the angered person, or the receiver of that anger.

What Is Anger?

When you look at the definition of the word anger (below), to me it’s straight to the point, however it does not pack the punch enough to cover the whole array of feelings, reactions and outcomes that it brings.



noun: anger; plural noun: angers

  1. 1.
    a strong feeling of annoyance, displeasure, or hostility.

Someone who experiences anger will also experience physical conditions, such as increased heart rate, elevated blood pressure, and increased adrenaline and noradrenaline levels. Anger can also be viewed as an emotion which can trigger part of the fight or flight response.

Can Anger Be A Good Thing?

On the positive side anger is used as a protective mechanism to cover up fear, hurt or sadness and that anger can sometimes propel you forward, however there is a fine line that can easily be crossed into negativity. If anger becomes the predominant feeling behaviourally, cognitively, and physiologically a person can make the conscious choice to take action to immediately stop the threatening behaviour of another outside force initially, but then maybe overcome with subconscious reactions without control – this is when you need help.

Who Does Anger Affect?

Anger has many physical and mental consequences on both the angry person and those around them. Not only will the angry person isolate themselves from Family and friends through frightening them, being too unpredictable, them having to walk on ‘egg shells’ around the angry person ‘just in case’ something sets them off to name a few, but they will simply become more and more angry because of others reactions to them and it becomes a vicious circle of anger, isolation and loneliness. And of course, when you reach the stage of your anger manifesting itself physically, you will start to put others in danger from physical harm by you.

With all that said, there is help out there, however, it has to be your choice, no one else’s. You can learn to control your anger, to deal with the reasons ‘why’ and allow calmness and light back into your life. Once you can recognise those feelings and signs that mean you’re getting angry, and can calm yourself down, you can start looking at ways to control your anger more generally and lead a calmer, happier life.

Can I Get Help For My Anger?

I have worked with many individuals who have come to me with anger issues. From anger control and feelings to physical reactions and isolation. There is a light at the end of your tunnel and I can help you both find it and reach it. You don’t have to feel that exhaustion that comes with feeling angry all the time and that frustration when you can’t control it or more so when it controls you. We can deal with this… more so, YOU can beat this.

Clare Kiernan is the sole owner of Essex Therapy and can be contacted on 01268 527757 or 07840 416633 or if you feel more comfortable sending an email, please do so to:

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