Relationship Tips

Free tips of how to make positive changes in your relationship

Make changes so your partner starts to share their feelings.

Is your partner guarded with their feelings?
Refuses to open up?
It feels like there’s something on their mind; however, they’re simply telling you that everything is fine, deflecting the attention onto other things?

How frustrating does that feel……this can begin to build up resentment.
It’s understandable why you would want to get your partner to open up.
It is a really important part of maintaining a happy and healthy relationship, being able to talk about your emotions.
Being open with your emotions genuinely isn’t easy for some people it’s not necessarily a case of scoring points as some partners start to think ……….

Possible reasons:
They were raised in a family where emotions were not discussed or acknowledged.
The family environment they were part of was full of aggressive emotions.

They may not have had role models who showed them how to be emotionally close, loving and expressive.
Previous difficult experience or experiences in relationships have made them guarded against expressing themselves.

What we know is when something emotionally painful happens to us, for some, we deal with it by shutting ourselves off from the pain, by engaging less with our emotions. We unconsciously decide being emotional to others is too risky and painful so we avoid it, instead we decide to show our emotions by other means……..

Does your partner always provide things, for instance acts of service? Make sure certain tasks are completed? Physically affectionate towards you? Always providing gifts?

How do I resolve this?
Look at yourself, reflect on your approach and communication in addressing the problem as let’s be honest whatever you have tried is not working, you just end up holding onto more feelings of frustration and hurt.
Find a professional, someone who is part of a governed organisation and committed to Ethical practice BACP and strict confidential polices.
Your counsellor will provide a nonjudgmental setting, enabling you to take a step back from the situation, make peace with preconceived thoughts and feelings working with you both to be heard, to find a permanent healthy way forward and enable you both to find a way to support each other and regain the love and attention you both have towards each other.

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